“ Swinging through traffic and changing lanes without indicating !” Please don ’ t be making things up . I used my blinkers every time . Just cos you didn ’ t see it doesn ’ t mean it didn ’ t happen , you know . And if you didn ’ t see my blinkers , then you ’ re not much different to the other herd animals in their cars . So much for being a trained observer , huh , Barry ? “ You were doing 75km / h back there !” Actually , I was doing 80km / h . This is the safest speed for me in a 70 zone . Just as 70 is the safest speed for a bike in a 60 zone . Please don ’ t feel bad . You know nothing about riding bikes , so it ’ s understandable you would talk such nonsense . “ I saw how you used the right-hand turn lane to cut in front of that car !” Pretty bloody good , aye ? I even impressed myself with that effort – and I am a veteran . Beats the hell out of sitting in traffic and waiting to be rear-ended by some fat mummy in a Pajero , let me tell you . “ That was utterly irresponsible !” Please don ’ t use words out of context . It wasn ’ t irresponsible . Not even remotely . It was maybe cheating . And possibly daring . And certainly clev- er . But as a motorcyclist , I am responsible for my life , so please don ’ t pretend like I don ’ t know that . “ Do you know how many of you idiots I ’ ve scraped off the road ?” Do you know how much I don ’ t care ? I ’ ve cradled the head of a friend who died in my arms . So I don ’ t give a rat ’ s ruined rectum about how you cope with your job . “ It ’ s my pet hate seeing you ride like that !” My pet hate is people talking on mobile phones when they drive . At least 12 of them have driven past us while you ’ ve showered me in spit . You don ’ t see me getting all crazy about that , do you ? “ What did you think you were doing ?” I was going home . Why ? What did it look like ? Look , Barry , calm down . I am a motorcyclist . I am not the problem . I am the solution . It ’ s about time you and your legions of Bible-packing gronkers worked that out . Do I have to chew your food for you too ? How ’ d you get to be an inspector ? Sheesh .
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