is terminated one takes every penny. So, you
may ask (if you’ve bothered to endure this literary
meandering thus far) what is this wondrous and
free means of propulsion which has, until now of
course, been going unseen and unhitched upon?
Magnetism. Oh yes... the mysterious power in the
planet which makes a compass needle move
without the need of a battery, or errant finger.
Like magic. Because magnetism is magic. It is a
power created by two poles. Two chaps in Warsaw
who one day decided to... no hang on, I’ve veered
off course here.
I meant the North and the South poles. They
drive the compasses and magnetism. No fuel
required. No emissions. Just an eerie ability to
turn little needles on little compasses.
So, I asked myself, how about building a device
which can draw in the power of the poles and
make things larger than compass needles turn?
Like wheels? I realised I was on to something, so
I rang Sir Peter and put the concept to him.
“How many have you had?” was his snorting
retort. “Only the three,” I replied as I put the
seventh can in the bin.
Sir Peter then asked what I was going to write a
column about and I rather pompously declared
that it would be about the ways and means of
creating free, and endless, power.
The line went dead and I smiled. It wouldn’t if
it were being run by magnetism, I mused, then
actually hung up on myself. So, I am now
designing a motorcycle which has a magnetic
engine that will go as long as the earth continues
to revolve.
And we are the lucky ones. For we are very close
to the South Pole... one of the two great cylinders
of this earthly engine. We’ll be able to get the
beasts up to at least 23km/h.
In my next column I will discuss the probability
of being able to ride a three-wheeler on Mars
by 2034.
Fuel? No worries...they have magnetic poles
there too.
Oh dear. Sir Peter is back on the tannoy. “Write
something sensible,” he has instructed. “That’ll be
a first,” I guffawed. And he hung up again.
Ahh... just another day.
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