Because I am shallow and
venal, I think a bike needs to
be aesthetically beautiful
And I would buy the Triumph because it is
gorgeous. It’s one of those rare bikes that
pleases the eye from every angle.
Because I am shallow and venal, I think
a bike needs to be aesthetically beautiful
before I would consider purchasing it. There
may well be bikes which are objectively better
equipped, more powerful, easier to jump
canyons with, or whatever. But if its looks do
not delight me, I will always buy the one that
looks better. This goes a long way to explain
my love for MV Agustas.
Can you still see me over that pile of knotted
undergarments? Good.
Triumph has, of late, very much upped
its game in terms of supplying a premium
product to buyers who want such a thing.
This is where the XE is pitched.
You want something Triumph that costs
less and isn’t as edgy? Go look at the sweet-
hearted and gentle 900 Street Scrambler. It’s
not got any of the dirt cred the 1200 has, but
it’s still got them high-level pipes so you can
pretend.
But if you want something that can really
do the deed for you, either on the road or in
the dirt, the XE stands ready. I loved the gold
forks. They made me feel lairy and sassy. And
they are two millimetres fatter than the forks
on the XC.
I loved the beautiful seamless 16l tank. It’s
an utter miser on fuel, too. You will get just
over 100km for every five litres of fuel.
I loved the way the side-stand was spring-
loaded, so when you hooked it with your
heel, it would thunk eagerly outwards by
itself.
I loved the DRL headlight, the backlit
switchgear, and the new second-gen TFT
dash. It was also pretty intuitive to navigate
through the menus via the joystick-thingie,
and that’s important to me. Triumph’s
electro-gadgetry has always been easy to use.
And if you like, you can get the XE fitted
with a Bluetooth module with the world’s
first integrated GoPro control system, plus
turn-by-turn navigation, phone and music.
None of that applies to me, but you go your
hardest.
I loved the brakes. They bite hard, and
KIWI RIDER 59