ship Showbiz although his attempts at finding a star to manage were clumsy and ill-conceived -he placed advertisements in trade papers and magazines declaring ; ‘ Are you a major star down on your luck ? Let me manage you and we ’ ll go 50-50 over the dosh .’
JUST ONE CALL He received just the one call . It was from Louie ‘ Mr Lollies ’ Cribbage ... a 73-year-old former ventriloquist and clown who did children ’ s birthday parties and galas until some form of ‘ unsavory incident ’ ended his career . Baz ( Nancy ) Dollbar found himself somewhat on the outer with his chums after eventually confessing that the red dress and heels belonged to him , and not his sister .
“ I ’ m not a pervert or anything ,” Mr Dollbar said .
“ I mean , some blokes like to wear leather all their lives ... other blokes dress up as medieval soldiers and have sword fights on the weekends . Some clowns wander up town wearing Manchester United shirts ... how sick is that ?
“ I like the feel of silk and lace and stuff ... that ’ s all . I don ’ t take it any further ... strictly behind closed doors okay ?”
When pressed about whether or not working as a ‘ hostess ’ in a central city bar was an activity ‘ behind closed doors ’ Mr Dollbar said ( quote ); ‘ we all have to pay the bills yeah ?’ then hung up . Crozman and Arasole formed a GP race team and , with the permission of Colonel Gandar , called it Team RocKing . However , their decision to try and emulate the outrageous and explosive success of the single-lunger bike they helped build for the Burgerring 500 backfired . Shoving a huge one-litre cylinder from an aircraft ’ s radial engine into a carbon fibre frame resulted in the wrong sort of publicity for Team RocKing . The pair contracted Gollygee Jambo to ride the bike ... given that no one else would . On the warm-up lap to the opening GP of the season the massive piston shook itself free of its con-rod and exploded up through the valve and cam assembly , through the chassis ’ main spar and through the fuel tank . Its last port of call on its flight to freedom was Gollygee ’ s head .
With further surgery he is expected to make a partial recovery .
Crozman and Arasole are presently in negotiations to source engines from a Latin-orientated manufacturer .
led to him being offered a job at the company as ‘ ale consultant .’ It was either that or offer the man shares in the company given his enormous consumption of its products over the years .
Apart from the access to gratis ale , the regular ‘ employment ’ ensured Gimlett stayed off the lighter fluid and floor polish . His liver received an award in the Queen ’ s Birthday honours list .
Gollygee Jambo suffered injuries to his head when a piston went through it ( as detailed above ) and is expected to be in and out of hospital for the next two years . “ He ’ s a lucky fellow ,” his surgeon Dr Sean Lamb said . “ It was fortunate that there was little in the way of intellectual content inside his skull to start with so the cost to his quality of life will be minimal .”
OF NO FIXED ABODE Gimlett Glibb , of no fixed abode given the number of bars within the region he inhabits , struck it lucky by coming up with a winning slogan in a competition organised by Hopstill Breweries . His ‘ A Brew and a Spew ... That ’ s You ’ effort not only gained him the first prize of 60 dozen beer a year for five years , but also
36 Kiwi Rider – September 2003
KIWI RIDER 65