FICTION
going unheard the first time .
" Good as gold ," Lenny said but Max stepped forward , raising his hand for silence . " You wanna stay ?" he simply asked . " Yeah ... I know you blokes ' ll get through and send someone back to get me . Check me out fellas ... I ' m a fat bastard basically . The power-to-weight ratio ain ' t good when I ' m a factor in it ."
No one could quite believe it . They could understand it , in terms of the law of physics , but hearing it from their chubby chum ' s own lips was something else altogether .
Unlike in the movies , when such dramatic events are drawn out like melting chewing gum between the pavement and the sole of one ' s Johnny Rebs , the decision was clean cut and ( if they ' d had pen and paper ) signed and sealed .
Nod McNab , the walking vacuum cleaner when food was about , would stay behind and await rescue ... should his mates succeed in their quest and find help .
The lads had filtered as much of the dank water as they could and had made up watertight bags from the vinyl torn from the aircraft seats and ceiling .
WATER DUTY Whoever was in the sidechair unit would effectively be on water duty . They would have to hold the clamped tops of the vinyl bags as tightly as they could to prevent even a droplet slipping out .
After all , they had no idea how far the nearest point of civilisation was . They had no idea how long they would have to travel for .
Bert stuffed about 30 of the seed cones into another vinyl vessel and pushed it into the sidechair unit . " There ' s 10 each in there ," he said . " And there a dozen here that we ' ll leave behind for Nod ... try and make `em last matey ." Nod did what his nickname implied and watched the lads prepare for their journey .
Max climbed aboard first , followed by Lenny who clambered onto the pillion slab , while Bert took first stint in the sidecar .
" Chocks away Nod ," Max declared , and Nod obliged by pulling free the two wedges of rock from under the wheels .
On a slight incline , the machine rolled slowly at first but gathered enough speed for Max to push the gear-engaging lever into place .
It coughed , shook , sputtered and then roared indignantly , as if a monster awoken from a long sleep . They were riding their way out . Bert managed to look over his shoulder and gave Nod , a forlorn figure swathed in dust , a wave .
The other two were busy clinging onto the world ' s largest vibrator .
The day grew warmer and rather than promise salvation , the landscape began to get scruffier . Less and less vegetation was appearing and the dust kicked up by the machine they had dubbed ' The Stuka ' hung in the air behind them . They stopped for lunch , although whatever
time it was was open for debate . All they knew was that the sun was high and central and they were getting hot and hungry .
" We keep going ... this way ?" Lenny asked quietly , pointing in the hazy direction The Stuka was facing after they parked up , again on a slight rise for re-starting purposes .
Max nodded as he unwrapped some of the cone seeds .
" Have to eat `em raw now lads ... nothing to boil the bastards in ."
Few words were spoken , and they all thought about Nod who they ' d left behind .
Nod wasn ' t thinking about them though . He was thinking about the second half of the muesli bar he ' d secreted in the elastic band of his grundies during the initial divvie-up all those days ago .
He sort of felt bad about hiding it , but hey , he ' d bought it fair and square with his own dosh and anyway , it had peanuts in it and he ' d convinced himself the other lads didn ' t like peanuts .
To amuse himself he rearranged the rocks so that the ' SAS ' message became ' SAV .' He ' d always had a soft spot for a boiled sav ' in a fresh bread roll .
And for company , to avoid feeling stupid talking to himself , he went and sat by the grave of the pilot and talked to the mound of dirt instead .
" I ' ll call you ... Mr Steak ," he said , and chuckled .
A DISTANT THUD And that ' s where he was sitting when he heard the distant thud of large blades cutting the air . Coming straight in , from the west , was a helicopter . Like Michael Jackson ' s career , dusk had fallen , and the great beam from the airship cut through the thin light and settled on him .
Someone aboard was calling to him but he
couldn ' t make out the words .
Filling the air with thunder it put down nearby , and a dark-visored crewman in overalls beckoned him to approach .
" Anyone else ?" the crewman yelled above the noise .
" Naa , they all took off a while ago ," Nod called back as he clambered aboard .
Airborne , and moving fast from the area , the crewman explained to the bemused Nod that a navigator aboard an air force aircraft had seen the letters SAS in the sand , but chose to ignore it figuring something secretive was going on .
" But then he figured ... the SAS don ' t advertise their presence ... they don ' t advertise nuthin '! He figured it must ' a been some dickheads in trouble ... who couldn ' t spell ." Nod was on his way home . Meanwhile , Max , Lenny and Bert reckoned they ' d made about 300km by nightfall that day , and settled in a slight gully with The Stuka parked and ranging up behind them ready for a rolling start the next day .
They sat about , and after a few more raw seed cones felt strangely euphoric . " At least we ' re alive ... and we ' re seeing the world ," Max said with a laugh . " We ' re at one with nature ," Lenny added , to which Bert responded " don ' t get too carried away Len ."
They slept well , although strange and colourful dreams plagued them , and continued their journey at first light after a small but welcome drink and a couple more seed pods .
They had been on the move about 40 minutes and Lenny was at the handlebars . He was the first to spot what appeared to be a trail . He slowed up and yelled to Max and Bert that the ground ahead had a worn strip running through it ... and they were on it .
A ROAD ? " We ' re goin ' home !" Max yelled , adding a whooping cowboy yodel for good measure .
He got even more excited when it became clear the worn trail was losing its cover of dust and soil and scruffy tufts of weed and was morphing into a very old , but increasingly distinctive , ribbon of weary tarseal .
" It ' s a road ! It ' s a road !" Bert yelled , slapping Lenny on the back .
" Yeah ... but is it a road coming or going ?" Lenny yelled back .
" All roads lead somewhere ," Max chipped in from his sidecar perch .
They all went silent for some time after that , their mesmerised eyes fixed upon the faded old blacktop which meandered ahead of them off into the mirage haze of the horizon .
Only the ugly , but reassuring sound of the rumbling engine filled their ears ... until Max started to ease himself up out of his perch ... his eyes steering ahead like an unblinking lizard .
" There !" he yelled , pointing to what appeared to be a shape , coloured and uneven , a couple a kilometres ahead . A shape which
KIWI RIDER 67