and legends , but they do have an awfully big social media reach . And they host websites with pictures of customised motorcycles on them . They do write words about these motorcycles , but they ’ re not worth reading and will give you the plague if you persist . Are they the café racers who have returned ? No . They are not the odour off the steam off the beer-piss that splashes onto your boots when it comes to café racers and café racing . Even many of the bikes they feature have jumped the shark so many times , it ’ s almost selfsatirising . But it ’ s like an echo chamber for these sad yutzes . Their fellow check-shirted beardies comment on these dreadful “ builds ” that have been “ murdered out ” or some such shit , and it ’ s like reading the chatter of gleeful chimpanzees discussing their own piles of excrement . The custom bikes themselves are never seen being ridden in public , or smashing the bends on some isolated public racetrack . The bikes these porridge-brains do ride to their local coffee shops are also jump-the-shark customs – but two rolls of exhaust tape , a yellow headlight lens , and some dirt-bike tyres on an old SR500 do not a café racer make .
So why does this bother me ? It doesn ’ t . I ’ m more of a point and laugh kinda bloke when it comes to this entire borrowed glory caper . But I don ’ t like fakes . I don ’ t like pretend outlaws . And I don ’ t like pretend café racers . I just don ’ t like people pretending to be something they don ’ t get , will never get , and instead choose to bastardise it by imagining some heritage or connection which would never be theirs no matter how many angle grinders they own . At the end of the day if you wish to build a proper café racer out of a 1969 Triumph , do it . If you wish to build one out of 2021 Panigale , I would whole-heartedly support that too . But then you need to ride it . You don ’ t need to dress-up like a sexually-fluid lumberjack to do that . Nah . The café racers haven ’ t returned . But if they ever did , these make-believers wanna pray they don ’ t decide to drink their tea in one of those edgy , please-serve-my-food-on-a-rooftile joints . It might get messy .
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Spyda ’ s Guide to New Zealand Motorcycle Road Racing Circuits from past to present
Covering over 400km ’ s on an incredible 157 Circuits . Same info , two different styles available . Both 230mm x 160mm Wire bound Touring edition designed to fit in your tankbag ( left ) $ 59 ; Softcover version $ 54 ( right ) Freight NZ wide $ 8 for your copy please contact nzmccircuitguide @ gmail . com