BORIS
THE INEVITABILITY OF CHANGE
Humans are not big fans of change . Change discomfits us . If things are bad , then we hope whatever change comes will benefit us and make things better . If things are good , then we immediately see change as a bad thing . And so we bounce between hope and trepidation . Such is the human condition . Some insurance company even based an ad campaign around our fear of change . It showed what its marketing team saw as a typical family , headed in a now-typical way by a middle-aged , coffee-sipping , smug-faced Karen staring into the middle distance , while her typical white family enjoyed its glorious and joyous life in the house behind her . The tagline ? “ Life unchanging ” – but only if you buy their insurance . It ’ s bullshit . Of course it is . But our changeaverse lizard brains squirted a bit anyway . Motorcycling has undergone profound changes since I first threw a leg over the wretched things back in the 70s . The bikes we now ride are spectacular in every way . Sure , there are still some grospy , wet-eyed old fools who look fondly back upon the “ Good Old Days ”. It ’ s almost like they enjoyed being brutalised by an SS900 Ducati , or staring vacantly at an oil-leaking Shovelhead and wondering if the car they flag down for help will have a serial killer in it . Today ’ s bikes are hugely reliable , and very few serial killers are getting their knives into us . Our gear has likewise improved out of sight .
Gore-Tex makes it possible for us to push through hypothermia , Kevlar lets us keep more of our skin – and the advances in materials science have seen off the army surplus great coat . One can only applaud that . I now own boots that do not leak . Ten years ago , this was a hope . Twenty years ago it was a dream . Thirty years ago , waterproof boots were the ravings of a mad-man or they were gumboots . But there have been alleged solutions to problems that have never existed , because that is the nature of technology . The advent of key fobs is a good example . Utterly pointless . Drop your bike key in a creek , fish it out , wipe it , ride on . Drop your bike fob into a creek and see how you go . I ’ m not a fan . In what way was the ignition key deficient in its performance that we needed to invent an invisible power beam requiring batteries and coddling to replace it ? Ever tried to poke the excess marijuana back into the joint you just rolled with a fob ? The same is for this new wave of “ smart ” helmets . Tech-headed kids have sprung massive erections over this tech-gimmick . For that is all it is . Helmets with cameras , peripheral LCD displays , microphones , and speakers , all crammed into a carbon-fibre lid weighing in at more than 1500g ( on what planet can that be deemed a “ lightweight ” helmet ?) are starting to appear .
88 KIWI RIDER