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“ FIVE MINUTES TO RACE- TIME ,” the speakers crackled . “ Rock and roll ,” Elvis said quietly and mounted the bike .
Around him were the world ’ s best riders . They looked on in bewilderment at the garishly-clad ‘ wildcard ’ aboard an ungainly single-cylindered bike that looked more like a badly-made cheeseburger than a potential victory lane inhabitant .
When the flag dropped so did the mouths ... along with the hearts of every member of the billion-dollar racing teams who lined the pit walls .
The strange machine defied its single-lung status and shrieked like the wind through the wires ... its possessed piston turning its crank at an amazing 35,000rpm .
“ Whooooah there babeeeee ...” Elvis cried as the amount of daylight between him and the pack continued to open . Gandar ’ s eyes glowed . So did those of Sorceron and the dark riders who knew immediately what was driving this blurred vision out on the track which was laying waste to everything the finest factories of the
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world had built .
They began to make their way down from the stands and toward the pits .
“ He ’ s coming in !” Crozman shouted .
” What ? He ’ s only done one lap and we tanked the thing to the top ,” a bewildered Arasole replied as he readied the petrol filler .
Elvis powered in , grinning like the cat who just found the cream . He waved Arasole away . “ Not the gas man ... I need the fuel ... get me a burger will ya ?”
Gandar had anticipated such an eventuality and beckoned for Dwayne ( a spotty young fellow bearing a tray of burgers ) forward .
FEELIN ’ GOOD “ Feelin ’ good ,” Elvis warbled as he again entered the fray ... still in the lead .
The race was his . The bike , immersed in the magic of the rings , ran the perfect lines , braked at the perfect points and never once spun a tyre . It simply ran the perfect race . At one stage , after a three-burger stop , Elvis actually managed a short nap
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aboard .
The world rose as one in acclaim for the return of the King as he crossed the finish line ... all except Sorceron , his motley hordes and a mortified Rich Clifford .
“ I ’ ll have to go back to crap stage acting ...” he wailed .
Gandar waved Elvis into the garage and pulled the roller door down quickly as the crowd outside converged .
The lads went to work stripping the engine down and prying off the three glowing piston rings ... just as the metal door clattered inwards and Sorceron and a dozen of his festering dark riders stormed in .
“ You have stolen my race from me ,” he growled as Gandar backed off and Crozman and Arasole went for their chains .
“ It is over Sorceron ,” Gandar cried . “ The King has returned and the world will be a better place again ... and you will have to kill us all if you try to deny us our quest of throwing the wretched rings into the lava pits ... wherever they are .”
Sorceron dropped his knife to the floor . His evil desires had
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been extinguished . He would never taste Burgerring 500 glory . He was beaten .
He edged closer to Gandar , and with a wry , wicked grin , told him to forget the lava pits .
“ Whack `em with a hammer ... they ’ ll break .”
Fred , Baz and Nev looked at each other in bewilderment . “ What ’ s this ?” Crozman asked . “ Whack `em with a hammer ... they ’ re brittle as buggery ,” Sorceron sneered .
“ I don ’ t know what all this lava pit crap ’ s about .”
The bemused lads , after indeed shattering the rings forever with one blow from the old ball-peen , looked toward Gandar who was quickly shuffling backwards out the door .
There , Elvis was already waiting as he signed autographs and received the adulation of an adoring world .
Gandar put his arm around the King ’ s mighty , sequinned shoulder and the pair walked off into the sunset .
“ Just call me Colonel ,” Gandar smiled as he patted the King ’ s back .
“ You got it ,” Elvis replied .
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