KIWI RIDER 09 2018 VOL.2 | Page 70

How many motorcycle marques can you name that start and end with a consonant? WORDS: Roger Moroney PHOTO: Geoff Osborne COUNTING...BIKES. I recall my doc’ asking me once if I slept well. “What... at night or at work?” I replied with jest. A jest he was in no mood for as there were other people waiting outside to see him and the last thing he needed was a third-rate stand- up comic with inflamed knee joints seeking applause. So he answered with an expressionless glance, as well as silence. “Ahh, about four or five hours a night... off and on,” I said, and he simply nodded and said something along the lines of four or five hours a night off and on was better than nothing at all. I’m not alone I understand. Apparently the more years you tack onto your life the less hours you spend asleep. Kids sleep all night... they sleep through anything. But something in older heads is not so amenable to the prospect of shutting consciousness down. Maybe it’s because after sixty or so years you’ve gathered and stored so much information inside your scone it all starts oozing out the doors of the memory bank vaults and keeps you awake. That’s my theory, and I was thinking about it so much the other night I couldn’t get to sleep. So when I get into that state I start playing the word games... the strange facts games. Like running through the alphabet and coming up with a motorcycle brand starting with each letter. Or a rock band’s name... starting with every letter. Beats counting sheep because with the advance of the river-soiling dairy industry there are none left to count. So there I was, at 2.17am, adrift in a sea of consciousness, when I stumbled upon what I subsequently tagged “the vowel and consonant factor of motorcycling”. My mental “research” concluded that Japan and Italy were adherents to the vowel while the US, English and a couple of other European brands were from the land of the consonant. For I wallowed there and rolled through the big guns of Japanese manufacturing... Honda, Suzuki, Kawasaki and Yamaha... and discovered they all end in a vowel.