KIWI RIDER 06 2020 VOL1 | Page 57

SUPERMOTARDMOTO THINGS Invariably feckless, feral youths whose names exist both on their high school’s roll of wastrels, and in the Bash On Sight guidebook of every Highway Patrol cop. They hear sirens in their sleep, wear hoodies, motocross helmets and hunted expressions, and spend most of their lives riding like bastards around hopefully deserted city streets after 2am, or being taken to jail in the back of a paddy wagon, if they were doing it right. THEY CAN BE FOUND In front of the local courthouse on Monday mornings, and in the waiting rooms of bone-graft surgeons. ULYSSIANS Largely peopled by old men who have chosen to ride motorcycles as an alternative to pointless onanism or suicide. They take pride in a motto ‘Grow Old Disgracefully’, even though not a single thing they do can be classed as disgraceful, apart from maybe the way they hesitantly negotiate winding roads. They shake their wrinkly grey-haired heads at every bike with a racing can, and will tell you, if you could ever be bothered to listen, they’re the only people who care enough about the good name of motorcycling to care enough... um, about... erm, stuff and things (I really don’t know because I always walk away at this point). THEY CAN BE FOUND On committees, in roadside rest areas, and attending weekly meetings, monthly meetings, quarterly meetings and the Annual General Meeting. KIWI RIDER 57