KIWI RIDER 06 2019 VOL.2 | Page 99

Part of me kinda looked forward to a Kardashian giving me mouth-to-mouth with her monkey-gland-filled lips while Kanye sang dreadful songs in the background RUBBER ISSUE Like I said, Indian got this package damn right… in a uniquely American way. But as I gazed at the weird-arse tyres after a 14-hour flight, a three-hour exit from LAX, and a dose of jet-lag which had me speaking Spanish to the bloke who carried my bag into the hotel, I had my doubts. “What’s going on here?” I asked one of the Indian media-launch shepherds. “What kind of silly gringo bull-rubber have you pendejos fitted to this motorcycle? Do you want me to die?” And English pendejo called Ian assured me the chunky, flat-track-inspired Dunlops would surprise me. “By high-siding me into Kim Kardashian’s front gate?” “Hopefully not,” he said, looking mildly alarmed. “How do you even know where she lives?” “How do you not?” I countered. Of course, the tyres are one of the things that make the FTR so unique. The front 120/70-19 looks kinda normal, but the back 150/80-18 looks straight off the Sacramento Mile. It’s got big square shoulders, the tread is block- like, and its upright contact patch appears much larger than the standard palm-size oval of salvation you’ll find on a normal tyre. But what was going to happen when I leaned into a corner and that massive contact patch began to shrink – unlike a normal hoop, where it actually gets bigger? How was this bizarre vulcanisation exercise going to work with the tubular frame and its stressed-member engine, the tubular trellis swingarm, and that serious-looking front-end? Part of me kinda looked forward to a Kardashian giving me mouth-to-mouth with her monkey-gland-filled lips while Kanye sang dreadful songs in the background. It would have been something to remember for all of us. But the Dunlop rubber surprised me. KIWI RIDER 99