KIWI RIDER 06 2018 VOL.1 | Page 26

seems untouched by the quakes; also seemingly so is the Kekerengu Café, an old favourite. The upheaval on the coastline itself is apparent after Clarence, and there are wide swathes of new shallow beach that weren’t there before. Where the sea floor has been thrust up by a metre or more, the strewn rock fields are whited out and blighted with dead kelp beds. The smell is fierce, and the bug life astounding, many finding impossible holes in my visor. I love the ride and salute the riders I pass, who all were equally responsive. At times the traffic slows to 30k’s and I need to be alert to mounds of built up gravel. One particularly obnoxious policeman, for whom I generally have the greatest respect, took it into his bosom to find something to persecute. in spots quickly develops into a steady soaking. Caution is required when deciding to travel on this road at night, as it’s easy to be trapped in Kaikoura or ‘no mans land’ when the road is closed after 8pm. I arrive in Kaikoura to find it full. Camping isn’t an option, as pitching a tent in failing light and soaking rain has as much appeal as being attacked by dogs. Fortunately I’m directed to an Inn, up a long road, which I find in the gloaming. The Donegal Inn is a happily rousing Irish testament to the immigrant Boyd family of Kaikoura. It’s a series of long rooms on a pond and river with fabulous views to the mountains. The owner, bless his cotton socks , is a harried but happy man and the dining room is ablaze with food and drink and the largest video-wall of 80s descent yet seen. Weather on the way into Kaikoura Having passed me by, a kilometre or two later he reappears behind me and sirens me to a standstill. He breathalyses me and goes over the bike like the Spanish Inquisition. This martinet ruined a great day and shook me up with his ridiculous hating on bikers. Apparently, while negotiating gravel I’d crossed the white dashed centreline and was crossing back over when he came round a corner, well ahead, and saw me crossing back. In a 30km/h zone, actually doing 30k’s! Fined, and annoyed - I’m depressed. I ride off, and the weather mirrors my mood. It gets blacker and darker, and the rain which starts 26 KIWI RIDER On this were the worst Irish 80s music videos ever made. With appalling crooners in corduroy, and wavy hair under floppy leather berets singing of everlasting love to bright-eyed Colleens, and Kathleens coming back from fuck knows where. It is, I have to say, priced to make up for the lean times, and it’s possible to forgive them. But 30 bucks for cod and chips, and 125 more for a basic room, has a sizeable hole in my meagre budget. But it’s a long way from Turangi in one day, with some exceptional riding and a little drama too. The bed is beyond welcoming.